Letting Go

I adore this.  If only we could all live like this every day.

I don't know why, but I have dwelled on this all day, and I couldn't sleep until I wrote it out:

I had a great weekend.  I might have had a little too much fun ;) but between the friends, fireworks, and fun, I actually had some moments of realization. 

I was called overprotective this weekend.  Anyone who really knows me knows it's no secret that I am a worrier.  I have to know everything that is going on, weigh every possible outcome of decisions, and have control over everything in my life.  This also tends to cross over into the lives of those around me.  I make no apologies for that.  There have been many instances where that has kept me, and those I love, safe. 

However, looking at it this weekend, I can honestly see how it might also be a negative aspect of my personality.  Not only because worrying about any little thing going wrong makes me an incredibly boring and irritating person.  (That is one major realization I came to, though.)  It really prevents me from having full, honest experiences.  If I am so worried about what is going on around me, I can never appreciate the things I may miss. 

It also has an effect on those around me.  I have been called out for worrying too much, but I have never actually been labeled as overprotective of others until now.  I can honestly say that I hadn't thought about it that way.  By needing to make sure nothing bad happens to my friends, I am possibly keeping them from having experiences that may teach them something.  Sometimes the best lessons in life come from making mistakes.  By trying so hard to keep everyone around me from making any mistakes, I might be robbing them of something they need to learn.  I need to learn to trust that everything will be ok.

In the end, this is hopefully one of the good things I can take away from this experience.  I know being here is changing me, and it has all been for the better.  One of the best parts about this whole trip is being able to look at the different aspects of myself that I need to work on changing.  If I can learn to let go and just let things happen here in a different country where things have a higher probability of going wrong, it will be so much easier to do the same at home.  I can come back a more free, easier going person.

I know a lot of people who will be pleasantly surprised :)

~Taylor   

(I promise the Ireland blog will be up this week sometime. I am just trying to capture everything that happened.)